Why does the Queen keep knighting rock stars: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted January 24, 2008)

Doesn't that seem like something that would happen in a family comedy?  Like one of those movies where a little kid somehow becomes President?  "I want ELMO as my SECRETARY of STATE!"  "Whaaaa???"

Does the Queen just really dig music or something?  If you visit the palace are you allowed to see the Royal CD Collection?  I bet they have a wicked 5-disc carousel.

Are royal knights ever called into duty?  What if England gets invaded again?  Paul McCartney should have to fight.  I think that to get knighted you should have to at least put on the suit of armor and pose for pictures.  Maybe even participate in a good-natured duel or joust.  (No Elton John jokes, please.)

Fun fact: Queen Elizabeth is also recognized as the Queen of JAMAICA.  QUEEN OF HIPPIES!

Incomplete list of things the Queen is older than:

- E-mail
- Video games
- Lasers
- Digital clocks
- Velcro
- Nuclear reactors
- White out
- Microwave ovens
- Helicopters
- ATMs
- Ballpoint pens
- Fiberglass
- Penicillin
- Sliced bread (seriously, by two years)


Finally I must sadly report that according to my sources the Queen is in very poor health.  I'm not good with math but I think she is like 80.  Anyway when she dies I think it would be a good time to stop making people Queen automatically and start having ELECTIONS.  That is proper democracy.  Oprah Winfrey would probably make a good Queen if given a chance.  Maybe they would be jerk snobbies and only let British people compete in the election but I hope not.  It even sounds good, "Queen Oprah."

If you don't like that idea you are just no fun.

Click HERE.