Boycott Hasbro to save Clue: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted August 20, 2008)

So the idiots at Hasbro have decided to change the board game Clue.

Really.

Apparently Clue was deemed not hip enough for the 21st century, so they are attempting to bring it up to date.

Here is a list of some of the changes:

- The lead pipe, revolver, and wrench have been eliminated

- Colonel Mustard is a football player now

- Professor Plum is a billionaire video game designer

- All the characters have special powers

- There are "cool" new rooms like a theater and a spa

- Your character can die while playing

- There are time limits

- It's a completely different game


Needless to say this is all a bunch of CRAP.  Everyone needs to start boycotting Hasbro immediately.  I also suggest writing them an angry letter.  Here is a copy of mine but please don't plagiarize it:


Dear fools,

Why are you wrecking Clue?  It makes no sense.  People everywhere will be outraged.

How can you even think about eliminating the lead pipe?  It is so INTEGRAL, don't you understand that?  You guys probably never even play.

Only a complete idiot would suggest changing a beloved and established brand.  It would be one thing to introduce a new alternative, but to completely dispense with the original?  What a ridiculous blunder.  Your inferior Clue will be the New Coke of board games.

I mean is that your plan?  To re-introduce "Classic Clue" in a few months in hopes that sales will go through the roof?  I am gonna buy a bunch of old Clue games on e-bay so that you won't get any money from it.

I spit on your new Clue.  The reasons why should be NO mystery.

Signed,

Heartbroken


Click HERE.