The economy: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted October 9, 2008)

I am a pretty decent expert on how the economy works because I got taught that at school.  So now I will explain it to you.  The economy is like when you buy an ice cream cone.  You probably won't want another one right away.  and if you do, it won't be as good as the first one.  That is why people only get paid once a week, it makes them appreciate it more.

Right now the economy is bad.  Most American families cannot afford essential things like gasoline and cereal.  a lot of people want to blame the government but maybe instead they should look in the MIRROR.  Think of some bad stuff you did to help ruin the economy.  Did you return something the day after Christmas, or accidentally drop your wallet in the sewer?

At any rate, things are pretty badly F*CKED UP!  Now in spite of what they say about me down at the public pool, I am not the kind of person that complains about a problem without offering a solution.  So here are some ideas I came up with to help turn the economy around:

1) No more gifts for pets.  Times are hard, and all the money that's being wasted on squeak bones, balls of string, and tiny little football jerseys could help save a neighbor's floundering business.  and here's the kicker: the pets won't even care!  They are perfectly content with free things like sticks and belly rubs.

2) Whenever you roll coins, leave the roll one short.  No one ever checks!  We'll all be dead (and rich!) before they figure it out.

3) Ban magicians.  They are always ripping up valuable hundred dollar bills, or making them vanish or lighting them on fire.  Then when they pull money out of your ear it's just a quarter.  Pretty bad deal.  a lot of them also waste money on wands and costumes when they could just use a stick and regular clothes instead (see "pets" above).


If you want to learn more about the economy there are several good books you can read.  I do not have the names of them handy but trust me they are good.  Check at a bookstore if you can still afford to buy things, or else go to the library.  Remember that the library is bad for the economy though so you should only get the books there if you like irony.


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