The HISTORY of PIZZA

Most humans, including history buffs, like to eat pizza.  Those same humans and history buffs can often tell you "who shot whom" and which country won which war and exactly when Jesus died.

BUT!  You never hear the exact details of where we got pizza from.  So as usual it's up to me to provide that information.  The government has been useless in doing so, and also in several other areas.

So here goes it.

Like the Olympics and most other things, pizza originated in Greece.  They just were not doing a very good job marketing it.  Not enough toppings.  There was no stuffed banana pepper pizza available in 19th century Greece.  Too bad, imagine if someone had thought to invent that all out of nowhere.  He probably would have made a million dollars, at LEAST.

So as usual, Italy stole, and introduced the modern day version of pizza as if it were an invention of their own.  It was slow to cross the border into America.  People in grandparent tymes used to be way too staunch (yes STAUNCH) about their ethnicity.  They would get all mad like "What is this?  Something NEW?  I will NOT try it!"

Since then, most old people have died though, so almost everybody likes and accepts pizza now.

Americans were afforded their first taste of a "pizza pie" courtesy of Italian immigrants who used to walk up and down the street carrying washtubs full of pizzas on top of their heads.  (I am NOT kidding about that.)  As usual, the simplest marketing strategy proved to be the most effective, and pizza quickly became all the rage.

Nowadays pizza is available almost everywhere!  You can get it at Pizza Hut, Papa John's, gas stations, concerts, festivals, Chuck E. Cheese, and usually bingo. You can probably even get it in hell, but it's probably "thin crust."

"Deep dish" pizza is very popular, especially in Chicago.  Do the restaurants there ever get competitive over which establishment has the DEEPEST-dish pizza of ALL?  If so, bring back the washtub, I say.  But instead of just selling one pizza off the top, slice the whole tub up real thick like happens with lasagna and cake.  Then call that Man vs Food guy to show up and try to eat it.  He really likes pizza, I heard.

After he finishes he also has to eat a spare-tire-sized chocolate lava cake and is also not allowed to die while eating it or else he "loses."

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