Billy Mays fanfiction: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted December 12, 2007)

Okay my new idea is that in addition to infomercials, Billy Mays should also have a fictional action-adventure series in which he would use his various products to stop crimes and help the Earth.

Some ideas to get the ball rolling:

- Using Oxyclean to clean up a big oil spill that has endangered birds and Eskimos

- Pulling a broken-down schoolbus full of children out of a burning warehouse with Mighty Putty

- Rescuing abused circus animals from their shackles with the Crocodile Cutter

- Using the Gopher Reaching Tool to retrieve the President's keys out of the sewer

- Repairing a puncture in a plummeting hot air balloon with Sealtite Tire Sealant


Basically the show would be like a combination of MacGyver and Batman.  Billy Mays would wear a big utility belt with all his products on it.  At the end of the show you get a chance to call and buy whatever products he used that day.

See how that works?  He still gets to pitch his merchandise but we also get the fun of seeing Billy Mays in exciting and dangerous situations.  There would plenty of action, drama, fights, love scenes, mild cursing, etc.  I'm sure the show would be a hit.

Oh yeah also at the end of the series, Billy Mays gets married.  I know I'm thinking kind of far ahead but I really think that would make a good final episode.  I'm not sure which of his products could be best incorporated into the wedding, maybe Lint-B-Gone Lint Brush.


Click HERE.