Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser

Is your church, school, or gun club in need of FUNDS?  Have a Spaghetti Dinner!

I see these things advertised all over the place, and always wonder who goes.  It's one thing if it's YOUR church or school and you want to socialize with people you know and be supportive, but when they advertise to the general public do they get many takers?

I have invented a new character called "Spaghetti Man."  Spaghetti Man goes to every Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser he hears of, always alone and always first in line.  He wears a red ballcap and cape and has special spaghetti-eating utility gloves.  Otherwise he's just a regular person, it's very simple.

The problem is that while I really want Spaghetti Man to exist, I am unable to fill the role of the character myself.  I am too busy, can't "work nights," and don't wish to eat THAT much spaghetti.  But there certainly is someone reading this that hasn't become famous yet but would like to be.  Spaghetti Man could be your avenue.

It's such an easy part to play, you don't have to do much.  Just keep showing up and eventually you will become "known" for attending Spaghetti Dinners.  The hat, cape, and early arrival will automatically make you stand out.  Also, when the local media eventually show up to interview you, you always just give simple short answers to the questions.

Interviewer: Why do you go to so many Spaghetti Dinners, Spaghetti Man?

Spaghetti Man: I love 'em.

Interviewer: Which Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser do you like best?

Spaghetti Man: All.

Your enigmatic persona will captivate the public, and soon your personal appearance will be in high demand.  Imagine if two churches are holding Spaghetti Dinners on the SAME NIGHT!  There will be so much SPECULATION.  "Which one will Spaghetti Man choose to attend?!"  (The obvious answer is both.)

From there you move on to paid appearances and endorsements.  Everyone will be excited when you SHOW UP, just like Guy Fieri.  Festivals, carnivals, TV commercials for Barilla, etc.  It's all easy money.

So if you think you would like to be Spaghetti Man, please e-mail me your resume and a brief cover letter and I'll put you under consideration.  The deal is you purchase the outfit and all the meals yourself (they're usually only like $2.50) and then I get 50% of all paid appearances and merchandising.  If you're thinking "Hey, there's nothing stopping me from STEALING this idea!" well, that's true but I'm not gonna endorse or promote you and therefore the REAL Spaghetti Man will ultimately trounce you.

Serious applicants only.

Click HERE.