The Guy Who Never Sits Down: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted February 22, 2008)

You know how sometimes you are at a party and you are standing but then there's an empty chair?  and for whatever reason you just keep standing, like maybe you really just are more comfortable that way?

Then somebody that's sitting notices the chair and notices you standing and says, "Hey man, sit down!"  Like you didn't notice the chair or thought you weren't allowed to sit or something?  So now you definitely want to stand so that the person won't think you wanted to sit but were waiting for some kind of invitation or permission.

You say, "No, I'm good, thanks," hoping that will be the end of it.  But they won't let it go.  "Come on, sit down!  There's a chair right here!"

Now it's a thing, you and that chair, and there's no way you're giving in.  You want to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible but there's no way out.  You start saying stupid things.  "Naw, I've been sitting all day!"  "Time to make my legs do some work and give my ass a break."

It does not work, and now the standoff is getting bigger and bigger.  People are being called in from other rooms.  "HEY, THIS GUY WON'T SIT DOWN!"  There is a heightened level of interest and confusion.  "NO, HE ALWAYS STANDS!"

Now you are officially "The Guy Who Never Sits Down."  Because you can NEVER sit down after that, everyone would make such a big deal out of it.  "Hey, he finally sat down!"  Everyone applauds.

So don't go to parties is my point, you're just gonna get into trouble.


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