Identity theft: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted June 25, 2008)

Okay most people right now are very worried about other people trying to steal their identities.  It is a big problem caused by too many computers.  I know a few things about identity theft and have compiled some answers to these frequently asked questions.


Q: What will happen to me if my identity is stolen?

A: The criminals will buy stuff and make you pay for it and possibly send out annoying spam e-mails from your internet account that people will think were actually from you.


Q: What action should I take upon having my identity stolen?

A: Unplug your computer and call the bank.  If the person at the bank asks "Oh YEAH, how do I know this is really YOU?" just outsmart them by asking "Well how do I know THIS is really YOU?"


Q: Is there any legal penalty for debts incurred via identity theft?

A: I have heard that identity theft victims can be forced to dress up like pirates in a restaurant.  I do not know why they are made to do so.  Perhaps it is because most pirates were bad thieves and the government wants to use pirate imagery to keep the public informed about identity theft.


Q: I lost my nametag from work.  Are there any potential ramifications?

A: a work nametag is not a legal form of identification and therefore cannot be used to steal your identity.  Your supervisor can most likely supply you with a replacement nametag, but depending on where you work it may be at your own personal expense.


Q: What effect, if any, will human cloning have on the identity theft crisis?

A: Once human cloning begins we will have tons more important things to worry about than identity theft, such as evil clone armies and all the clones trying to get it on with each other's wives.


Q: Can animals be victims of identity theft?

A: Sometimes there will be a mix-up when two dogs or cows or sheep look almost exactly alike, but such misunderstandings are rare and do not really count as full-fledged identity theft.


Hopefully that clears things up for the most part.  If you have any more questions about identity theft you can try looking for answers in magazines.


Click HERE.