Okay after several sleepless nights, I recognized that even Jesus himself had failings. That time when he flipped out at the temple, for example.
So even though you hear a lot of hymns and other songs at CHURCH, it occurred to me that you never really hear Jesus himself singing or playing musical instruments. Therefore I officially theorize that he was bad at that. So here it is! My first ever HYMN.
"Jesus Plays the Saxophone"
(Written By Captain Dan)
He turned water into wine
Made mountains out of sand
But our Savior couldn't cut it
In the school marching band
a carpenter by trade
He was skilled with a blade
But when he picked up a horn
a demonic sound it made
Let he who has not SINNED
Cast the very first STONE
But plug your EARS
When Jesus plays the saxophone
One, two, three, HIT IT!
(Then there's this part where somebody plays a saxophone solo real off-key to show that Jesus was bad at exactly one thing.)
NEXT VERSE!
Jesus ain't PERFECT
But nobody is BETTER
When he tries to write a song
He ain't no Eddie Vedder
(Writing songs is hard, so shut-up.)
Jesus tried HARD
But he blew real BAD
Our Shepherd's chord structure
Made Pontius Pilate MAD
Let he who has not SINNED
Cast that dang darn STONE
But Lord have MERCY
When Jesus plays the saxophone
Three, six, teen, GO!
(More bad sax playing as it fades. The end.)
Hopefully this song will make a lot of money someday, and if it does, I would like some.
Click HERE.
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