Pennies and fountains

I swear to whoopity dang God, the thing people like best besides FREE stuff is WISHING for stuff.  Free things are free, whereas wishes usually cost a penny at most. It's only 1 cent, but it still technically costs "more," and everybody hates that.  I have spotted and scrutinized many cheapskates over the years, watching the skies for shooting star freebies and feverishly rubbing random lamps with false hopes.  No more of THAT, I say.  Let's get into wishing wells and fountains (not literally).

Sometimes people toss higher denominations into the water.  Nickels, dimes, even QUARTERS.  Talk about rich.  Personally I like to throw mostly-used-up gift cards in.  There has to be SOME money left on it, otherwise it's just litter.

Imagine printing a fake $100 bill with your computer and placing it in the penny fountain at the mall.  Would someone take it?  Imagine how low you would feel if another person saw and confronted you.

"Is that yours?"

"Yes I just accidentally dropped this in there."

"You dropped a fake $100 bill in the penny fountain?"

"It isn't fake."

"Then how come Alfred E. Neuman is on it?"

"Because...I am bad...at remembering Presidents.  Good day, sir."

(THAT is some humor writing.)

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Back to the freebies...

Rubbing lamps?  Don't like it, too masturbatory.  (Is that a word?  Is now.  TM Captain Dan.)

Shooting star is complex.  So difficult to prove that you saw one.

***nEw iDeA***

Lie about seeing shooting stars, especially during romantic late night walks and sensitive business negotiations.  (TM Captain Dan.  If you get laid or rich from this idea please send me a large check.)


Lamest wish when tossing a penny into a fountain?  "Please go in."

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