I understand the difference between warm-blooded and cold-blooded animals, but it's weird when you see ducks swimming in winter. Creek all icy and there's ducks in there. "STOP SWIMMING IN THAT! PUT ON A TOWEL!"
I also get mad (I have anger issues) when I see seagulls in parking lots loitering around waiting for Burger King scraps. GO TO THE BEACH. The very BEST part of being a seagull has to be, #1, being able to FLY but then also somehow being able to spot and eat things right out of natural WATER. How do they do that?
Bears, too. I understand that most bears are born with gifts but how does a bear just snatch a fish right out of the water all natural? SMOKEY the Bear hates fire but I wonder if a regular, not anal-retentive bear ever started a very small campfire to safely cook fish upon (UPON). Bears are weird animals, man. Then again, find me a normal one.
I AM NORMALLY AGAINST KILLING SPIDERS. They HELP. But I SWEAR to GOD (yes HIM) SPIDER WEB ALL OVER THE SIDE VIEW MIRROR OF THE CAR EVERY SINGLE GOD (oops) DAMN MORNING? and it ain't even all fanciful like Charlotte's Web or anything. Yet I never can catch or find or see the actual spider doing it. IT'S PRETTY FRUSTRATING. You can tell by the CAPS.
I did once catch a mosquito in the act of biting, but there was no justice. The damage was already done.
Also the only time I ever got stung by a bee was when I was delivering newspapers as a kid (I have a slightly better job now) and a bee decided to land on my HEAD so I swatted at him/her (wow are most bees boys or girls? I never thought about that before) and it stung my finger but I did manage to get revenge by stepping on and subsequently killing that sucka afterwards. I owned that bee.
Does the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee HATE on "regular" Cheerios? He never says anything about it. Sometimes little boys going through potty-training are given Cheerios in the toilet to "aim" at. It's like Space Invaders, but different. Is there extra potty-training value if the Cheerio is FROSTED?
Enquiring minds want to know.
Follow on Twitter!
http://twitter.com/cptaindan
