Are Energizer and Duracell still enemies?

Those two companies used to REALLY hate each other.  Both equally determined to solidify their position as the #1 battery manufacturer.  There were lots of lawsuits and dirty tactics.  Thank God the rivalry never became outright violent.  Many injuries could have been suffered in neighborhood skirmishes and schoolyard scraps if either side's loyalists ever took up arms.  You can't actually "shoot" a person with a battery-powered toy laser gun but you can crack somebody real good on top of the head with it.

Nowadays, Energizer and Duracell are still running neck-and-neck as the top two battery brands, but there seems to be way less hostility.  I guess both companies ultimately realized that nobody cares what BRAND of battery is inside something.  You just want it to be one that's actively providing power.  The only time you look at a battery is when it's broken.  Otherwise they are always kept in hidden compartments.  You have no idea what's in there.  Until it STOPS working and then you go to take the dead battery out and that's the only time you recognize what the brand name is.  "Stupid broken wall clock!  Why did you stop working?  I'll just turn this clock around and have a look...oh Duracell again.  FIGURES."

Why put your name on the battery at all?  They already bought it.  Leave that shit blank, no one will be able to trace it to you after it dies.

Ever wish you could own and run the #1 battery company in the WORLD?  I'm sure you do, otherwise why would you be reading this?  So I will tell you how to do it.  There's an easy way to market a battery that would be heralded as superior to all other batteries.  The most popular battery of all time.  No one would ever want or buy any other kind.  and it's all so simple.

You introduce a battery that's...

"included."

ALWAYS included, with any electronic board game or lady toy that needs one.  The manufacturers of battery-dependent products would have to raise their prices a little in order to compensate you, but they would happily do so.  Nobody likes having to buy the batteries separate.  It's not "upselling," it is a SCAM.  It's not like being offered a drink, credit card, or extended warranty.  You need the batteries or else things like toy lightsabers and Electronic Battleship will simply not function.

Then again if Energizer and Duracell have been telling the TRUTH all this time, you could probably just find some around the house that still work decently okay.

Click HERE.