Whales and dolphins: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted September 17, 2008)

First of all whales and dolphins are not mammals, I don't care what anybody says.  It's like when people try to tell you that a watermelon is a vegetable.

There are special resorts you can go to if you want to hang out with dolphins but it costs a LOT of money!  The money pays for the training, which is important.  Don't just jump in the ocean and expect dolphins to be cool and want to hang out for free.  They won't.

Has a killer whale ever killed somebody?  They seem so friendly.  When it finally happens no one should have the nerve to act surprised.

Dolphins are supposed to be smart and easy to train, kind of like dogs.  If we kept them as pets I wonder if they would still do bad stuff sometimes.  You come home and your dolphin has been in the garbage again.

Male dolphins are called "bulls," females are called "cows," and the children are called "calves."  All of this was stolen and needs to be changed for obvious reasons.  We can't have some kid looking at a picture of a lady dolphin and the caption says "a cow."  (Dolphin cow all smiling in the picture, not caring about being named that...)

Don't ever put something in a whale or dolphin's blowhole, that is how they BREATHE.  Well I guess it might be okay to put a cough drop in there, but no rocks or pennies.

Whale songs are not too good, but maybe we just picked bad whales to listen to.  How can a scientist tell if the whale he's listening to is the equivalent of Michael Bolton?  Somewhere out there is a Springsteen whale, waiting to be discovered.


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