Bumper stickers are for people that like to argue

Otherwise why put one on there?  It's never any kind of total agreement sticker like "LET'S FIND A CURE FOR CANCER" or "CRIME IS BAD."  It's usually something that people are 50/50 on.  You're either "OBAMA" or "NOBAMA."

If you put a bumper sticker on your car, you do so because you want people to see and read it.  It's not like getting a secret tattoo on the body parts that only doctors and TSA hires get to look at.  EVERYONE will see.  and yet there are so many strange "arrest me" type choices.

The main way people like to argue these days is via (yes VIA) texting.  You are not allowed to text in the car anymore, you legally have to store up your anger for later.  There have been many arrests over this.  People texting while driving.  They do it because it's SO important IN THAT MOMENT to get a message to someone.  You cannot pull over before texting "jamal is a better daddy to his kid than you will EVER be to yours, stupid jerk eric"  There is simply no time.  Stupid jerks like Eric need to be told off IMMEDIATELY.


a lot of cars these days have neat modern devices.  Global Positioning Systems and cupholders and clocks.  Car manufacturers are also always competing to make THEIR cars the ones that employable people want to sit in and/or drive.  So even though, much like when I participate in charity walks, I always forget to ask for money I will now reveal yet another of my revolutionary ideas for free.

Electronic bumper stickers.

The wording changes based on mood or intention.  You speak into either a microphone or a similar microphone-type device and whatever you say is then displayed on the Electro Bumper screen. (Electro Bumper TM Captain Dan)

As an example, you could say:

"I LIKE THE GRATEFUL DEAD"

Then someone else with an Electro Bumper pulls up behind you with the message "GRATEFUL DEAD ARE OVERRATED"

Then you're like "FUQ U"

and they're like "EAT A DIQ"

(You cannot pronounce correctly-spelled profanity into your Electro Bumper or else a special police officer is automatically alerted and then quickly speeds up to arrest you.)


I hope that all of you will enjoy this service very much as soon as scientists help me invent it.

Meanwhile,

Click HERE.