Cranberry sauce: Canned vs fresh

Kids are stupid when it comes to food.  Irrationally picky.  "My corn flakes are too soggy!"  "This meatball is not round enough!"

SHUT-UP.

It then becomes increasingly bizarre when an adult person is that way.  "No WAY can I eat chicken noodle soup if a noodle is hanging out of the bowl."  "There are not enough vowels in these Alpha-Bits!"

Again, SHUT IT.

People get weirdly mad at their breakfast foods.  How come?  Just grumpy at the beginning of the day?  Old people are always (ALWAYS) sending back eggs in diners.  "16 pancakes are not enough.  Stack it HIGHER for me, ya big BITCH."  Your bowl of Lucky Charms does not have ENOUGH purple horseshoes in it, and you feel robbed.

Robbed by a leprechaun, which is the worst kind of robbery.


So then there's this Thanksgiving thing where certain people INSIST that the cranberry sauce needs to be this exact log with rims.  If you attempt to make a FRESH cranberry dish at least one relative will be offended.

Somebody, perhaps me, should act all STAUNCH about Stove Top Stuffing.  "It just ain't Thanksgiving without Stove Top!  SCREW your dang darn homemade stuffing to HELL."

Little kids prefer Kraft Macaroni and Cheese to the homemade kind.  WHY?  Because it's orange?  I will freely admit that orange is a popular color, but other colors are nice too!

There is this microwavable version of Kraft Mac and Cheese that is called "Easy" Macaroni and Cheese.  Like the stove version is so difficult.  Who screws THAT up?  "Oh, I forgot to heat the water."

and don't EVEN get me started on this war between the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese people and the Velveeta Shells people.  There has been way too much violence over that already.

Happy Thanksgiving, Pilgrims!  (and Indians)


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