Peanut butter and jelly = BAD COMBINATION: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted July 23, 2008)

Why do so many people like peanut butter and jelly?  It's like something pregnant women would ask for when they get those maniac cravings. 
 
According to my researchers the peanut butter and jelly sandwich was invented out of desperation by soldiers during World War 2.  You see when you are at war, sometimes supplies run low and you have to stoop to eating some terrible things.  I think I read that George Washington had to eat oatmeal with no brown sugar on it during his winter at Valley Forge.

But those were harsh circumstances.  There is no reason for people today to still eat peanut butter and jelly.  Oh except one.  People are LAZY.

What could be easier than smearing some peanut butter on one slice of bread and smearing some jelly on another and then mashing them together and shoving them into your mouth?  At one time that would have been a rhetorical question, but NOT ANYMORE.  I'm sure most people by now have seen the peanut butter and jelly in the same bottle.  an easy-squeeze bottle, no less.  I can see where a select group of people might need such a product.  Like if you're blind or a certain type of amputee.  It's hard to see what you're doing when you're blind, and you can't spread things on bread too well without the correct number of hands.  But anybody that's just too lazy to get out a jar and a knife deserves to get hit by a car.  I'm surprised the actual squeezing of the bottle isn't too much of a chore for you.

OH BUT WAIT MAYBE IT IS because Smuckers introduced a sealed, crustless, pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich several years ago.  The sandwiches are marketed as "Uncrustables" and are very popular amongst children with bad parents.  Sales reached about $100 million last year.

This is all very terrible and the laziness needs to stop.  Every American deserves three square meals per day.  It's one of the perks of living here, just like in prison.  There are probably pots and pans in your kitchen, why don't you make something with them?  If you don't know how, watch Rachael Ray and she will show you how to do it.


Click HERE.