We need more Batman movies: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted July 8, 2008)

One a year is not enough.  There should be 50.  (I'm being SARCASTIC if you can't tell!)

Why do they keep making movies about Batman?  They're all the same, I don't care what anybody says.  "This one explains how Batman became Batman."  "This one has Robin in it now."  "This one explains how Batman REALLY became Batman, not like that other one."  "This one explains why Batman likes bats."  Man, shut-up.  When you make a movie you are supposed to get it right the first time, like when you build a bridge or do plastic surgery on somebody.  That's why you get paid so much.

and why are so many people still going to the movies anyway?  It's 2008, we have youtube now.  Are you that BORED?  So bored that you would pay $9 to sit with a bunch of strangers to see Mike Myers and the shenanigans of his little midget friend?

Going to the movies takes like five hours.  The movie runs for about two and a half, plus you have to see like 18 previews first, plus read the stupid trivia bits about Tootsie, plus get there early because you're so BORED in the first place, plus the drive, plus parking, plus the 20 minutes it takes to get out of the theater because everybody forgets how to walk during the course of the film.  Five hours, and you don't even like the movies half the time.  "Wow, Crocodile Dundee Goes to Mars seemed like it would be great.  I wonder why it was bad?"

and then the food thing.  Why do people feel the need to wait until the EXACT SECOND the movie starts to start eating their nachos and hamburgers and drinking their sodas?  They sit there with this meal on their lap throughout the entire course of the previews, and then as soon as the actual film starts it's suddenly chow time.  Like having nachos in your mouth while watching a movie scene somehow makes it more entertaining.  "I finished my last bite of pizza crust RIGHT when Darth Vader said he was the father.  It was perfect."

Siskel and Ebert sure did go to a lot of movies over the years.  I bet they could have made a good list of movie theater pet peeves.  "Gene Shalit always gets up to go to the bathroom right before the good part."


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