Siamese Twin Jokes

HELLO all you stand-up comics out there that have been stealing and repeating my material for years.  Here's some advice to keep you going: There is nothing funnier than Siamese Twins.

Therefore you can have these jokes if you want them.


#1) If you were a Siamese Twin, would you rather be the guy on the right or the guy on the left?  I think it would really suck to be the guy on the left because anywhere you go you always have to be the designated driver.

#2) Do Siamese Twins take "selfies?"  How do they decide who gets to hold the camera?  Do they fight?  "I'm BETTER at it."

#3) DO THEY EVER WEAR MATCHING APRONS?  Either in the kitchen or in general.

#4) Most basic conversation Siamese Twins have while in bed at night: "MOVE OVER!"

#5) One Siamese Twin gets mad at the other at the movies because he keeps wanting to get up to go to the bathroom during the good parts.

#6) Hogging the hot water in the shower.

#7) Do they EVER "bro-hug?"

#8) Arguing over pizza toppings (they sort of HAVE to eat together).

#9) One annoys the other by reading over his shoulder.

#10) Headgames.  "Mom always liked me BETTER."


My apologies to all Siamese Twins in general, if they actually exist.  I have never been sure about that because I have never been to Siam.  I'm too afraid of that king they have.

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