New phone apps

Boy oh boy do people love "apps."  Also, games.  So here are some new ones.

(Since I do not know how to invent these myself, I will CONTINUE to allow important scientists and other nerds to steal my ideas.  You know who you are.)


#1) Paddleball app

This might seem like a really boring idea, but I gotta ask.  Why was this "game" EVER considered interesting or exciting?  How do you keep score?  Does someone have to stand there and WATCH you?  If so, nice life.  Anyway, a phone app would save someone the trouble.  The phone would automatically keep track of how many times you hit the same button in a row, and then you could report it to Facebook, because everyone would love that.


#2) Foot War app

Unless you were an only child, and therefore mentally disturbed, everyone fondly remembers "Foot War."  You and one of your siblings sit on opposing ends of the couch, watching TV, and push the bottoms of your feet against each other to establish household power and influence.  Meanwhile, you both have your heads turned watching cartoons or Gilligan.  Very casual yet important battle.  Make a phone app in which you can do the same vs a friend (or ENEMY) to help fill up the workday.


#3) The Floor Is Lava app

I don't think I need to explain this one.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, start with Foot War.  The Floor Is Lava is too advanced for you.


#4) Hopscotch app

Children these days are fat, and rarely own chalk.  But they usually have phones and tablets, so I feel that "hopscotch" could potentially enjoy a significant rebirth.  Might have to change it up a little to capture the attention of the current generation.  Maybe you hop ONTO things, instead of just numbers, and kill them.  Like birds or pigs or Mario.  Or Luigi.  Or the President.


#5) Dodgeball app

At some point teachers and parents decided that dodgeball was unfairly cruel, and is no longer allowed to be played.  Therefore, create an app in which you get to whip a big rubber ball at the "avatars" of your friends, co-workers, Facebook friends, and fellow parishioners.  Actually, since it's just an app, you wouldn't have to limit yourself to a rubber ball.  You could throw ANYTHING at them!  We have the technology now.  Pay like $1 to be able to throw a manhole cover like a frisbee.  $5 for a cute and colorful grenade that wipes out everybody you work with all at once. 

Games are fun.

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