Come on already. Everyone is getting upset.
What's up with England? They are like a little goof-off brother that we're always having to bail out of trouble. England had a fight with mom so she kicked it out of the house, and now it needs to crash on your couch for a few days. England got a DUI and can't drive itself to work at Gamestop anymore so you have to give it a lift. England forgot grandma's birthday, so you had to add its name to the card.
So why do we put up with them? I think it's the music. All those great British invasion tunes are like your little brother's baby pictures. "Hey remember this? I'm not so bad."
Maybe the solution is peer pressure. Ireland, Scotland, and that other one never cause any trouble. Well I mean they fight and bomb each other all the time but at least they keep it in-house. They should get England to be more like them. How come oil never gets spilled on Big Ben? Why is there never taxation without representation at the Piccadilly Circus? Yeah just sit there sipping your ENGLISH tea while AMERICAN manatees are coated in YOUR oil. Pip pip, cheerio.
How to make it up to us?
First of all I demand to see the guards laugh. You know the ones, the fuzzy hat guys. and no laughing at British "humour," make them watch Seinfeld.
Secondly, your "Queen" should be forced to pose for pictures with our Burger "King," just to prove once and for all that the two of them have about equal power and influence in the world.
By the way don't ever go to the Piccadilly Circus. There's no tightrope or elephants or anything.
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