Did clowns EVER make people happy?

I can not speak for people that lived in old fashioned times because I was not there, but I cannot imagine clowns ever being approved of as any kind of legitimate entertainment.  Clowns are like mimes except worse because they talk to you, too.  What would you say to a clown?  I have one main suggestion.

"Go away."

Clowns are not needed.  They know this.  It is why they stoop to being bad murderers and terrorists nowadays.  The idea of an "evil clown" used to be the exception, now it's the rule.  Will other obsolete professions eventually turn to terror and murder?  Watch out for disgruntled paperboys and shoe repairman.  They could easily turn violent.

See there used to be no television.  Really!  There was no Johnny Carson to tell you jokes.  No Bob Vila to show you how to build a door.  and children had nobody to look up to.  No Spongebob, no Dora, no Spiderman, no Scooby Doo.  They had nobody to admire but their parents, and parents are the opposite of fun.  But what's more fun than a clown?  They wear lots of make-up, can perform "tricks," and wear big floppy shoes.  THAT is FUN.  Therefore it was decided, by adults, that children should "like" clowns.

Problem was, the children themselves did not unanimously agree.  They were willing to put up with it for awhile as long as they were bribed with hamburgers and french fries and Happy Meal toys, but once Ronald got fired for making everybody fat, kids of all ages began to openly acknowledge that clowns "suck."

Before Ronald, the most famous clown was "Bozo."

Instead of junk food, Bozo's technique was to use cartoons to trick children into paying attention to him.  Notice how clowns always need a hook?  They are never appreciated just for their "antics."  They find something that kids already like and ride its coattails.  "HEY JOEY, I'll give you a CANDY BAR if you'll watch me make balloon animals for awhile.  DEAL?"  Then afterwards he's all "SEE?  Kids LOVE me!"

(Gives Joey the candy bar and it isn't even wrapped...  Ugh.)


Howdy Doody had a clown sidekick named Clarabell who never spoke until the absolute end of the entire series.  It was then that the camera closed in on Clarabell's quivering face to allow the teary-eyed clown to whisper the haunting words...

I don't have PROOF, but I'm pretty sure this must have prompted thousands of children to immediately begin crying, scream for their mommies, and pee their pants.  What, Clarabell, that was the BEST you could come up with?  How about...

and speaking of creepy things, a puppet dangling on strings is no picnic either.

Click HERE.