Smoking: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted March 25, 2008)

Smoking is not too popular these days, no not too popular at all.  I think it is somewhere between Iraq and that new Will Ferrell movie where he is a basketball player with an afro.  You are not allowed to smoke anywhere, and everybody knows that, but for some reason they still put up signs.  a "NO SMOKING!" sign at the MALL, who is that for?  Some guy that didn’t know walks in lighting one up and sees that sign all "oops" and puts it out?  I bet that never happens.

Smoking is bad for:

- The heart

- The lungs

- The skin

- The BRAIN

- Your jacket (it will smell like cigarettes)

- Your car (same)

- Your WALLET (it will get empty)


It’s not my job to tell people what to do but I feel that if you are a smoker you should probably quit.  Well unless you are certain people, that is.

1) Detectives

You kind of need to smoke cigarettes if you are a detective or else you just will not look cool.  You got to have something to smooth out the interrogation process.  Some detectives have tried questioning a suspect with just a toothpick in their mouth or while sipping on a Big Gulp but it is not as effective.

2) Musicians

"Cigarette" is an often-used word in good song lyrics.  I don’t want to hear someone singing about cigarettes that doesn’t personally smoke them, it’s like plagiarism.  Also musicians frequently need to "take five," during which cigarette smoking is basically mandatory.  You can’t spend your five minutes just drinking water or eating a bowl of cereal, the other musicians would think you were a real square.

3) Prisoners

Convicts and such don’t get to have too much fun plus their lives are kind of fucked anyway so I say go ahead and smoke.  Although I did hear that cigarettes can be used as money when you are in jail, so if you are in there be sure not to smoke too much!  You might need to buy something later on.

4) Monkeys

I know it’s bad for them too but a monkey smoking a cigarette is cute.  and if they start to smoke too many, you can just not let them have any more.  It’s not like they can go to the store and buy some.


*dId YoU kNoW*  The most popular method of giving up smoking is quitting COLD TURKEY?

*dId YoU aLsO kNoW*  The phrase "cold turkey" refers to a meal that is served with little or insufficient preparation?  So when you quit smoking all abruptly, it’s called quitting cold turkey.

*aNd*  a cold turkey sandwich is much better on toast than regular bread.  Fact.


Click HERE.