Friday, July 4, 2014

Hebrews make good hot dogs


They don't sell as well as some of the other brands, though.  Not enough advertising.  They should see if they can steal Michael Jordan away from Ballpark Franks as a spokesperson.  All they'd have to do is impress him with the product, sign him to a more lucrative deal, and get him to convert to Judaism.

Imagine a TV ad in which Michael Jordan takes a bite of a Ballpark Frank, shuts his eyes and winces, and then immediately throws it out.




Then he puts on a yamaka and someone hands him a Hebrew National and he takes a bite and says, "Now that's a SLAM DUNK!"  The Ballpark Frank people would feel angry and betrayed but too bad.  Michael Jordan played BASKETBALL, not baseball.  Well I guess he tried baseball for awhile but he stunk at it.


Some recipes include hot dogs cut up into little chunks.  Franks and beans, for example.  That's a good homestyle dish, how come you can't get it at Boston Market?  They could put hot dogs in the macaroni and cheese too, everyone would like that.  Italian restaurants could offer them in the spaghetti, like on the kids menu.


I like when hot dogs have cheese in the middle.  How do they get it in there, though?  There's no holes like with Twinkies.  Could they infuse other things?  Imagine a hot dog with the ketchup already INSIDE it.  That way the ketchup and mustard wouldn't have to touch, it would be way fancier.

There's also this relish dispute as to whether sweet or dill is better.  I personally like both.  Does anybody ever get wacky and mix them TOGETHER?  I would like to find such a product on a supermarket shelf one day, and I bet a lot of other people would too.  Heinz, call me.


Happy 4th.  (of July)

Has anyone ever put the stick part of a bottle rocket through a hot dog, the long way, before launching it?  That would be pretty wasteful but I wonder what would happen?  If you do it at least use Oscar Mayer, don't waste a kosher one.



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