Hobby Lobby: Sinful or Evil?

Errrr, wait.  That's not right.

How about...

Hobby Lobby: Sinful or NECESSARY?


I heard there was some bad shit going down at the Hobby Lobby so I decided to go there, just kind of to case the joint.  No one was actively picketing, so I assumed it was safe to go in.

Hobby Lobby was not what I expected.  Based on what I heard in the MEDIA, I expected it to be a lot more Puritanical, selling mostly birdhouses and jelly jars and whatnot.  Instead it was very expansive, well-lit, and colorful, with lots of fun games and stickers and toys to look at.  They had the birdhouses too, they were everywhere.

So needless to say, I quickly got lost, and a salesgirl came over to ask me if I needed help finding something.  I sort-of panicked.

Me: Umm, yes, where are the home wine-making kits?

Lobbyist: Wine-making kits?  We don't sell those, sir.

Me: WHAT?  But this is the HOBBY Lobby, and that's the best hobby of ALL.

Lobbyist: Sorry.

Me: Okay, forget that.  Just direct me to the model train sets.

She looked away and sighed.


I guess there's this hugely divisive issue now where Hobby Lobby doesn't think it should have to provide certain types of birth control to its medically-insured employees.  There are tough arguments on both sides.  Well I have a good idea for a perfect compromise that would appease EVERYBODY.  Hobby Lobby should pay for the birth control on condition that, honor system, the employees promise not to use the birth control AS birth control but instead for the exclusive purpose of making "crafts."  Like a portrait of Jesus made of morning-after pills instead of macaroni.  Then once they GET the birth control, the employees can do whatever they WANT with it, and Hobby Lobby would be none the wiser.  The girls get their much-needed health care, and the Hobby Lobby gets to save face.  Everybody wins.


Speaking of winning, here are some sick-ass model trains.

 

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