Superbowl commercials are not good

If you've ever been to a Superbowl party, I'm sure you've noticed there's always at least one idiot that says "the best part is the COMMERCIALS!" If this person is you, STOP SAYING THAT. Okay maybe you don't like football. Maybe you just wanted to socialize. But if you really feel you need to emphasize the point that you don't like or understand football, and are bored by the CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, for God's sake PICK SOMETHING ELSE.

Some ideas:

"The best part is the food."

"The best part is getting boozed up on a work night."

"The best part is seeing all my good friends."


Most Superbowl ads fall into two categories:

a) Talking animals

or else (more recently)

b) Talking babies

ENOUGH ALREADY. What animal hasn't been used in a Superbowl commercial yet? a dancing snake? a rapping mule? How about a chorus of CGI maggots singing about how much they love it when somebody drops a Big Mac Snack Wrap on the ground?

and then there's Monday morning. Chipper receptionists everywhere going into work unable to wait to discuss which talking animals they liked best. Your local morning radio DJs debate whether the baby throwing up was too gross or not. Hey does anybody actually want to talk about the GAME?

If that's too much to ask, at least bring back the halftime nudity. That was great when they did that. Everybody was excited about something else for once. "Did you see that breast?" "Yeah, what was that metal thing on it?" "I need to see that breast again!" "Let's image-search that breast on Google."