Public broadcasting

The first public TV station was launched in 1952. The programming was not good. It was mostly an old man sitting in a chair reading books. a few weeks later, after numerous viewer complaints, he started to read them out loud. Sometime after that they introduced a bunch of dancing puppets, and things were officially off and running.

Since that time, public broadcasting has flourished. There are now hundreds of TV and radio stations in every part of the country, and all of them spend about 90% of their broadcast days threatening to go off the air. It's always "we need to raise $106 dollars in the next 55 minutes or we're gonna take away all your favorite shows." Is that a THREAT? "Give us one million dollars or the next episode of Nova will be scientists demonstrating how to blow up a bridge. Possibly one in YOUR TOWN."

Then they try to come up with these extra little incentives to get you to send them money. "Mail in $200 and you get this cool TOTE BAG! If you can't afford that send $175 and you get a button."

There is also this tactic they use on the radio where if they find out you listened without paying they call you on the phone and accuse you of being a cheapskate live on the air. "We know you listened to All Things Considered. Your roommate turned you in. He says you got some real deep pockets but never throw a buck to anyone for anything. Says you're so cheap, you went to Denny's and snuck in your own coffee. Says you went to the art museum and looked at everything through the window. Now that's CHEAP."

Some members of the police force specialize in hostage negotiations. I wonder if they ever call the pledge drives? Like if time is running out and things are getting tense. "I'm sending over a pizza but I want to see a full episode of Masterpiece Theater first. We can work this out, I know we can."

Negotiations break down, Kermit the Frog loses a finger, everybody's screaming, someone steals all the tote bags and flees the station...