Michael Jordan sucks at stuff

He was the greatest basketball player of all time but MAN is this guy an incompetent buffoon.

After retiring from basketball Michael Jordan was looking for something to DO so he became the owner of the NBA's Charlotte Bobcats.  They are the worst team in the history of professional basketball, finishing the season with a winning percentage of 10.6%  They also lost their last 23 games in a row.

Dang.

It is time for Michael Jordan to admit that he does not know what he's doing.  Just because you are really, really good at playing basketball and have lots of money doesn't mean you can do whatever you want.

Incomplete list of other things he sucks at:

- Acting

- Baseball

- Golf

- Drawing pictures

- Riding a horse

- Bowling

- Singing

- Dancing

- Juggling

- Politics

- Gambling

Assuming Michael Jordan is reading this (insecure athletes tend to google themselves a lot) I would like to ask him to PLEASE STOP DOING STUFF.  You are tarnishing your LEGACY.  You had a good career, you can relax now.  Just sit home and enjoy having money and eat steaks.  and if you're worried about getting lonely, remember that you're still a pretty big CELEBRITY.  Almost any woman would probably go on a date with you for free.

Or, if you really are interested in doing all these things you suck at you could always do them, you know, PRIVATELY.  That way people would not see you sucking.  Don't announce that you're entering professional baseball.  Just join a neighborhood softball league.  Don't make "Space Jam 2."  If you want to act, go be in the church Christmas pageant.  If you want to ride a horse, do it on a private farm.  Not in a parade.  What if you get scared and start screaming and almost fall off and everybody starts laughing at you?  You need to THINK of these things AHEAD of time, Michael Jordan.

Also do NOT get an amateur pilot's license.  I know you can probably afford to buy a lot of planes and nice leather jackets, but be real, man.  It ain't gonna go well.

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