Stop pretending to be part of Christmas if you're not: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted December 6, 2007)

I would like at least one restaurant or business to admit that a gift card from their location does not necessarily make a "great" Christmas gift.  I mean Office Depot?  Really?

"I noticed your printer was low on ink so I got you this Office Depot gift card.  Merry Christmas."

"Gee thanks, Santa."

Supermarkets have gift cards too.  You know you're a winner if you get one of those.  "I was gonna buy you a present but I thought you could use some food instead."  In other words they got you the same gift they would give to a homeless person.

No one can ever admit that their product, while possibly useful, isn't exactly something you want to find under your Christmas tree.  Even the post office tries to get in on it.  "Give the gift of STAMPS!"  They really should put "...if it's to someone you hate!" in parenthesis after that.

and if they keep pushing all these terrible gift ideas, that must mean someone is receptive to them.  It would suck to be that person's friend, to actually get pencils and stamps and a Dunkin Donuts gift card for Christmas.


There are only four practical Christmas presents you can ever give to an adult person:

1) Alcohol

2) Cigars

3) Candy

4) Omaha steaks


If people wanted anything else, they would just buy it.  Think about it.  Are there caps and sweaters that you want but don't have?  If so, it's probably not because you can't find or afford them.  It's because you're "saving" them as possible things other people can get you for Christmas.  (You won't get them though, you'll get a book you didn't want or else slippers.)

So don't overthink it, stick to my list.  The only way you'll ever screw up is if you pick the wrong thing for the wrong person, like giving chocolate to someone that is allergic to it or giving booze to someone that is Amish.  and even if that happens they can probably just trade.


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