Back to school: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted September 2, 2008)

Well it's September which means everybody has to go back to school.

The first thing you gotta do is make book covers out of paper bags, man.  You gotta put one of those on every book they give you.  Then you can use a magic marker to write "SOCIAL STUDIES" on it.  If you don't have a magic marker you just have to memorize your books by thickness and the color of the rim.

Next you need to make sure you have plenty of sharp pencils.  Any pencils that are not completely sharpened should be taken to the pencil sharpener.  Turn the crank until you think your pencil is sharp.  and BE CAREFUL.  Don't be that stupid kid that either turns the crank the wrong direction or just gets too wild with his cranking and then the thing falls off and pencil dust goes everywhere.

There is also this pencil sharpener mishap that can happen where the yellow part of the pencil starts peeling off and there's no way to fix it so you will be stuck with this weird naked pencil that's all wood-colored.

Everything at school is done in single-file lines.  No standing around in loose groups.  No walking next to somebody.  These are important rules.

I think the most important rule is RAISING YOUR HAND.  You raise your hand if you want to say something.  Sometimes the teacher will ignore a kid for some reason and he sits there with his arm raised forever.  The arm gets tired so he has to switch, and then there's this thing you can do where you use one arm to support the other at the elbow so you can keep it raised for long durations.  If you don't raise your hand you can't get up to use the LAVATORY, which is what they call the bathroom at school for some reason.

By the way why are magic markers called that?  People in old tymes must have been easily impressed.


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