How To Use Chopsticks/ Just Put Everything On A Baked Potato Already (a first time EVER Captain Dan TWO FOR ONE blog!)

Here is how you use chopsticks.

You put the left one in your left hand and the right one in your right hand.  Then you pretend to play the drums.

Chopsticks also make neat fake antennae.  Especially for completely bald people since they pretty much look like aliens anyway.

How do not-Chinese people LEARN to use chopsticks?  Somebody tell me.  Is there a COURSE?  There's a billion people over there, one of you is reading this.

PART TWO

Baked potato toppings:

Butter
Bacon
CHIVES
Sour cream
Potato CHIPS
Ketchup
Cheese
Potato skins (from a different potato)
Marijuana
Sprinkles
MSG
a fried egg
Steak sauce
Doritos


There should be baked potato FIGHTS.  Like snowball fights except way more different and wasteful.  Don't bother with toppings if you use this idea, though.  That's just EXTRA waste.

***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER***  Do NOT ever attempt to HURT someone with a baked potato, unless it's by serving it to them way too quickly.


Here is a very bald man that once ate a baked potato WITH chopsticks:

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