(The bitch is the evil dentist. "Horrordrobe" is obviously not a word but I'm on a deadline and couldn't think of anything better.)
So obviously this maniac dentist did a terrible thing. There is no reason for me to supply my own personal "take" on it, it was just horrible. (a DENTIST is HIDING.)
So instead, let's just talk about some reasons why lions are great.
#1 they are trustworthy. You can stick your head right in their mouths and they don't care. This has been well documented. I tried it at African Lion Safari and the lion was totally cool with it. They unfairly kicked me out anyway though, as usual. Whatever.
Lions are nocturnal. That's why you never see them DO anything at the zoo. I wonder what goes on at night? (Let's be honest, probably sex.) If the zookeeper is nice he probably pumps some Barry White out of his bluetooth.
Female lions are SCIENTIFICALLY drawn to the males with the fullest manes. So that's another strike against all you bald dudes right there.
Not bald:
WHITE lions are cool, and also good at music.
Lions can ROAR really well, but don't do it back at them. The zoo says not to. It's like how you can't tap on an aquarium. Mooing out the car window at cows is still okay, though. Cows don't give a shit. About anything.
a fun fact is that lions are also considered KINGS. I kind of wonder how the British Royal Family feels about that. "You can't just CALL somebody a king or queen. You have to EARN it."
Do you?
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