Latest opinions and facts

Rock stars like to fake being done. Other jobs can't do that. Imagine a police officer questioning a bunch of suspects. Then you clap and he questions another one.

Dogs don't know any hiccup cures. They just have to wait. You can TRY sneaking up on a dog and popping a paper bag behind its head I guess, but I bet you won't be able to pull it off. If you do, youtube it though.

Old people can't open jars. But they all have really hard-to-open medicine bottles. They have no physical strength, but they have secret old person finesse. That's why they are still allowed to be President sometimes.

On birthdays you eat cake. On holidays you eat pie. I want a pudding occasion. If you get fired from your job everyone should come over with pudding. You'll need it.

Cereal prizes are way different than they used to be. You open cereal and get 500 free hours of internet service that you don't want or need. or a "People That Lost on American Idol" CD. It used to be better stuff, like stickers and decoder rings. Change it back.

Cow-tipping is frowned upon for a lot of reasons, but sexism is not one of them. It should be. Nobody tips a bull.

VCRs were considered difficult to program. Now they are obsolete. I don't like that some people got away with never learning. They should have to teach it in school, like how they still teach long division and cursive writing. "Why do we have to learn this?" Wouldn't work out though because even the teachers never knew. The VCR in class was always blinking "12:00." The only people that could program VCRs were astronauts and certain scientists.

Birds get spooked too easily. All happy, about to eat a worm, then you walk nearby and they fly about one-hundred miles away. Imagine that, about to eat a hamburger and within seconds you sprint halfway across the state. Hamburger totally not around, you're never getting it back.

Why is belly-flopping into the pool not considered an actual sport? Cannonballing too. Who determined that it was only okay to hit the water in certain ways? It's all skill. Let's radically change up the world of competitive diving. Some stuffy guy wearing a suit and tie in a diving rules office would be so mad.