Amusement parks

You're not allowed to go on the rides if you tend to get heart attacks. Imagine that scene, the roller coaster pulls back up and a dead guy is on it. Everyone still wants to get on, but now they have to wait. Person sitting next to the dead man all "I don't even know this guy! I just had nobody to ride with."

Some people are afraid of roller coasters. and other large rides that drop you from a height. But if you afraid of a ferris wheel, maaaaaaaaaaaaaan. That's some straight-up cowardice. and you can QUOTE me on that.

If you fall out of an amusement park ride, but wind up basically okay, don't sue. If you're good-natured about it they'll put your picture in the newspaper and stuff. "This guy fell out." Also, once you are able to stand, you should immediately get back in line and ride the thing again. Everyone would clap.

a lot of parks have people in animal costumes saying hello to all the children. This idea was stolen from Disney, but Disney steals most of its ideas from books, so they are in no position to complain. Since nobody likes child molesters, the people inside the costumes are usually cute college girls that are working as summer interns. I bring it up because one time I saw a hot lady getting her picture taken on the Tasmanian Devil's lap. Still not sure what to make of that.

When people go to amusement parks, they like to eat cotton candy. Cotton candy is not available in supermarkets or restaurants. You can only eat it outside and with a lot of people around. Fried dough is like that too. and snow cones. I guess the formula is to create something with a minimal number of ingredients that people can eat with their hands.

Some ideas:

- Frosted pancakes

- a big slab of ground, fried corn (like a giant Dorito)

If you want a beer at the amusement park, you normally have to remain inside a designated section. The "Beer Garden" or whatever. It's like the world coolest jail. You only have to stay there for five minutes and you get to drink alcohol the whole time.

What's left to accomplish if you're an amusement park designer? How about some COMBINATIONS? Like a roller coaster on which you also somehow get wet, or one where you get off at the TOP, and then there's a teacup ride up there. Then you get back on the coaster and it takes you down, and you break through a big paper banner that says "CONGRATULATIONS!" Some balloons and confetti at the end would be a nice touch, too.