Sick of "BACK TO SCHOOL" commercials

I've been seeing these since mid-July. CALM DOWN. It ain't damn Christmas.

and much like Christmas, every store wants in on it. "Toys R Us, your home for all your back to school needs." Really? ALL? I bet you don't have a COMPASS. and I don't think people need a home for back to school needs. You only need a certain, small number of "homes" in your life. a regular home, maybe a summer home, and a home for local news. That's about it. The rest of the time you can get by just roaming around.

"Pizza Hut, the place to eat after back to school shopping!" No it ain't.

"CVS Pharmacy: Don't forget to buy plenty of back to school MEDICINE!"

All you need for school is a pen and some paper. I went there, that's basically all I ever used. Yet kids are given this list of about 100 things they are supposed to buy. "You need a highlighter, a protractor, rainbow stickers with your name on them, some Kleenex, a little shoe-shine kit, etc." Shut-up. What would happen if a kid rebelled and refused to buy something?

"Martin Anthony Lombardi, where is your RULER?"

"I didn't buy one."

"We are all trying to draw a STRAIGHT LINE! How can you draw a straight line without a RULER?!"

"My plan was to just use the edge of my book."

Teacher screeches like a dragon, and a moment later Martin Anthony Lombardi is headless.

(I made that name up out of nowhere, but doesn't it sound real? Like an actual kid that would be in school?)

and where do you put all this junk that you buy? INSIDE the desk. That's so clever. That system would not work for adult desks, though. Too much coffee would get spilled.

The best thing kids get to pick out is a lunchbox. That is such a commitment. No changing your mind in the middle of November. "But I don't LIKE Hangin' with Mr. Cooper anymore!"

I have not used a protractor in real life even ONE TIME. I use a compass but not in the manner it was meant to be used. It's great for fine-tuning your Jack-o-Lantern.