The miners are RESCUED!

Something went right for once. There was a mine disaster and none of the miners were killed. That's like a Christmas tree fire that somehow spares all the gifts, or a pizza oven exploding but the pizza still turns out okay.

How can we prevent future mining accidents? Well first of all I think that people should STOP GOING INTO MINES. It's 2010. You can't eat peanuts on an airplane or smoke a cigarette at the bank but you can still go into a mine. That is not correct. There are enough computers and robots and underground-loving animals around that we should be able to figure out a different way.

and I know that a lot of miners will argue "but that is the only way we can earn a wage!" That's just negative thinking. Doesn't a willingness to work in a MINE seem like it would carry with it a good deal of optimism? Are there miners that are all like "I'm never gonna find anything down here! This is HOPELESS!" So think of it that way, guys. You're not just job-hunting, you are mining for WORK.

Miners from West Virginia may have a more difficult time finding jobs since many of them lack reading abilities and teeth but for those people there is always the Sears Blue Crew.

Now let's get to what EVERYBODY wants to talk about and that's this guy with the mistress. The mine caves in, 32 people are afraid for their lives and just this one other guy is thinking "ohhhhhhhh shit, that bitch better be cool up there." a lot of marriages run into problems when a wife goes through her husband's cell phone or finds condoms in his wallet. This guy was apparently golden in those areas. I guess he never accounted for the possibility of his wife showing up at a candlelight vigil being hosted by the mistress. Was there a CATFIGHT? How badass cold would it have been if the wife sent her wedding ring down to him in one of those blue tubes?

Finally I thought it was commendable that people clapped and cheered EVERY TIME one of the miners was raised up. You would think it would be like when they hand out the diplomas at high school graduation. Everyone is all enthusiastic at first but by the 50th or 60th kid they're sick of it. "Robert Nathan Hall? I never heard of THIS kid, hmmm.........don't think I'll clap." "Stephanie Anne Hancocker? Bet everybody makes fun of THAT name. Keep movin', sister."