Bring back Crazy Foam (it's time)

Okay if you don't remember Crazy Foam it was basically shaving cream that kids were intended to play with. a can of shaving cream with Superman or Batman on it or whoever.


You would press the button on the can and the foam would come out of the character's mouth. Kind of like Silly String, except it would come out in a big glob. It made it look like Batman ate WAY too many marshmallows. ("Bleghhhhh...")

It sounds foolish but you have to understand that wasting money was a popular fad in the 1970s. (See: the Pet Rock, gold chains, KISS)

Crazy Foam was supposed to be a thing that you could take in the bathtub and such, help you get clean in a fun way, but of course a bunch of stupid kids decided to EAT the foam so nobody was allowed to have it anymore.

Since those times, the earth has gotten to be a much worse and lazy place in a lot of ways. People will heat an entree in a microwave or send out wedding invitations on Facebook so they don't have to lick a bunch of envelopes. and of course parenting has gotten super-psycho. When I was five years old I would walk to school with my brother, jumping over puddles and running across the street in between cars. Nowadays you see this whole production where if a kid is getting picked up by the school bus the whole world has to stop. a step-parent is waiting outside with him at the exact house where he lives (WEHT all kids waiting together at the corner?) and then some person in a neon vest gets OFF the bus to "help" the kid get ON the bus. Once on the bus the child can use his phone to text the step-parent and confirm that he has safely made it to his seat. The child is usually fat because he is not allowed to walk anywhere or ride a bike without putting on a plastic suit of armor.

I don't think kids eating Crazy Foam would be too much of a problem in 2011. Parents don't let their kids do anything anymore besides homework and soccer, and they always hang around during activities like that. Very few reported cases of "THE BABY SWALLOWED A WEEBLE!" lately. and besides there are all sorts of things a kid COULD accidentally ingest. Cell phones are getting really small!

So I expect to see all-new Crazy Foam with Spongebob and Obama and Tigger and all the other cartoon characters on it sometime in the near future. They should market other "bathtime fun" products too, like a water balloon filled with shampoo. It has Elmo's face on it and when you squeeze and explode it the shampoo flies all over the place.

By the way look at where they assumed Spiderman's "mouth" to be.