Suspicious Cliff Claven photo

So Christmas is coming up and I ain't asking for much from Santa (what do you get for the guy that has EVERYTHING?) but I decided that maybe I would like some gourmet ketchup and something really good and obvious and simple like the first season of "Cheers" on DVD.

So I went to Amazon and this is what I saw...



Now if I'm known for one thing other than road rage it is my extensive knowledge of 1980s television (just TRY to stump me at Magnum P.I. trivia) so there was a hugely disturbing problem right off the bat. As EVERYONE should know, while John Ratzenberger DID APPEAR as "Cliff Claven" in the first season of Cheers, he was NOT YET a credited cast member. He was just one of those supplemental characters like Dudley on "Diff'rent Strokes" or the retarded girl on "Facts of Life."

See when they make a new TV show they release these nice-looking publicity photos that are intended to make the show popular. Everybody from the show all getting along.

Part of taking a good photograph is getting the people right in the middle. So in the case of Cheers they had this nice picture of Sam and Diane centralized, with Coach on the left, Norm on the right, and Carla behind. The more I stare at it I continue to pick up on all sorts of editing flaws, but there is one that really sticks out. LOOK AT HOW THEY MOVED THE ENTIRE SHOT OVER TO THE RIGHT JUST TO SQUEEZE IN STUPID CLIFF CLAVEN.

There's no way he was in that picture originally. Why take the time and effort to get him in there? Like he's so important, like they really thought he'd help "sell" the DVD. What, people wouldn't want Cheers anyway? It's CHEERS! I guess the color blue is kind of nice, maybe that's why.

I hereby DEMAND that John Ratzenberger be removed from the covers of all future prints of Cheers Season 1 DVDs. Especially when it comes out in 3D. You aren't fooling anybody. The top of Carla's head was so obviously meant to be right in the middle, it would fit so perfectly underneath the wavy "Cheers" logo.