Blind, dairy products, etc.

I have never seen a homeless person on a skateboard. How come? Seems like a good way to get around. and if you think nobody would want to give money to a person on a skateboard, just wait until you see the TRICKS.

How come there's no big brand name half and half? I never see commercials for it, at least. Is it just a thing nobody is the best at making? Cause there's tons of potential, you just change up the ratio to 53/47 or something. That becomes the secret recipe. You could call it "Whole."

People always lose their glasses. Does anyone lose a hearing aid? I never see any hearing aids left behind on the bus or at parties. "Did someone lose a hearing aid?" "WHAT?"

Ever been to a blind person's house? No mirrors! If you feel like your hair is out of place you have to fix it in the toaster. Don't mess with the light/dark switch though, blind people like to make toast without checking.

You know what's sad? a blind clown. Needs extra help with the make-up, needs a ride to all the gigs, balloon animals are never exactly right...

How come yogurt only comes in one size? You should be able to get it in a larger tub like happens with sour cream. and don't say "you can just eat two!" Nobody does that.

Want to come off as a wine expert? Just sip wine and use words that have nothing to do with wine. "This one is kind of woody." "This one is chocolatey, yet triangular."

When you see a police car parked at a pizza place, what is your initial thought? Is it "hey some cops are eating pizza" or is it "a delivery guy must be missing/MURDERED." There are places you don't expect to see cops, like at the beach. If you see a cop at the beach you know somebody died. Or at amusement parks. Cops at amusement parks are never being amused. They are very serious, asking questions like "who fell out?" or "where's the guy that was touching people?"