The History Channel

Okay first of all I have no problem with the History Channel itself. It is educational and entertaining. If you like watching the History Channel, good for you. But here is an important thing to say:

WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU SMART.

I have heard multiple people, including some straight-up DUMMIES, name-drop the History Channel as if everybody within earshot is gonna be all impressed. If you are someone that has been doing this, be warned. I see right through you.

Here is a thing. If the History Channel is so universally popular, why aren't there History Channel PARTIES? They do that Comic-Con thing for super nerdo dweebs, why isn't there a huge History Channel convention for all these people that are so into it? I mean I know there are Civil War re-enactments but that is only a PART of history. Fact.

Don't act like you watch the History Channel a lot if you DON'T. I am gonna carry around some flashcards to quiz people with. "Oh you watch a LOT of History Channel? Then tell me this. When was the steamboat invented? Tell me RIGHT NOW."

Are there History Channel T-SHIRTS? There are t-shirts for EVERYTHING. How come I never see anybody walking around in one?

I suspect that no one actually watches the History Channel. If you want to prove me wrong, video yourself watching the History Channel for an entire hour and put it on youtube. Then I will concede.

Otherwise, I know that you are all really watching porn.