Sunday, July 31, 2011

Snakes do not make good pets

Why do some people have snakes as pets? That ain't a good idea, man. Unless maybe you are a big rock star like Alice Cooper. But you know what? You're NOT.

In fact a pet store should not even offer a snake as an option. It's like when a clothing store starts selling headbands and moccasins. Don't sell those, people might WEAR them!

Snakes only usually do two things:

1) Sleep
2) Escape

That's it! and you know what they eat? Mice, which are also pets. So you are gonna just have to keep going back to the pet store to buy more and more animals. It is a BIG SCAM. Where is the Better Business Bureau on this one? and if you are some kind of sadistic weirdo that likes the idea of watching a live mouse get eaten, prepare to be disappointed! Snakes are never hungry. So when a whole day goes by and the snake hasn't eaten the mouse, you are gonna have to feed the mouse. So now you have a snake that's doing nothing, and a terrified mouse. TWO bad pets. Why not complete the trifecta with an irregular parakeet?

Snakes do not like being pets. Therefore they are perpetually crabby, unlike puppies. You will not be able to tell whether your snake is crabby or not, but trust me, he is. He is lying there all like "fml." So your pet snake does nothing, won't eat, and hates you. Also you are mistreating it. No matter how meticulous you are, you are not going to be able to maintain the right temperature, feeding schedule, shed skin removal, HUMIDITY, water, and regular tank cleanings that a snake requires. The zoo has to pay a TEAM of EXPERTS to do that.

So anyone thinking about getting a snake should cut it out. Just go get a tattoo of a snake. Or buy some frogs and give them evil names. Lucifer the Frog. Beelzebub Hoppenstance.



2 comments:

  1. LOL
    I like your post.
    But people still buy Reticulated pythons which are one of the most dangerous snakes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Snakes only sleep and escape?!They need to eat and drink water just like us you know!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete