Toys R Us

(There is no way to type a backwards R.)

So whoopity dang, who doesn't love a trip to Toys R Us on a Saturday afternoon? Got to get some new dolls and fake guns for all the little ones in your life. Then you go to the check out and the lady starts in with all the questioning.

"Do you have a Toys R Us Rewards card?"

"No."

"Would you like to save 10% today by signing up for one?"

"No, thanks."

"Do you need any batteries today?"

"No, I'm buying a Hannah Montana doll and a book."

"Would you like to pre-order a copy of Harry Potter Goes to the Circus?"

"No I would not."

"Do you need any wrapping paper for your purchases?"

"Not from here because it costs $10."

"Do you need any Pepsi?"

"No."

"Do you want to save 10% off your next visit to Applebee's by pre-purchasing an Applebee's gift card?"

"Isn't this a toy store?"

"Are you a member of Geoffrey's Birthday Club?"

"Yeah."

"Do you need car insurance?"

"No, I have some."

"Did you know that you can save approximately 20% by signing up for special TOYS R US car insurance?"

"I.....do you mean real car insurance or is it like for Hot Wheels?"

"We are proud to offer both."

"Anyway, no."

"Would you like to buy this single rose to take home to your wife? It might improve your marriage."

"How much is it?"

"Fifteen dollars."

"No thanks."

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"

"Hey."

"Want to see some pictures of my kids?"

"Do you mean little kids or like college age girls?"

"They're little."

"Then no."

"Interested in being my AA sponsor?"

"No."

"Steve Buscemi. Are you a fan?"

"I.....well I guess everybody sort of is, a little bit."

"Would you like to help save a life by donating blood today? There's a van out back."

"Do you mean that the Red Cross is here?"

"No."

"Then really really no."

"Geoffrey's out there now."

"Wonderful."

"He got woozy though and had to lie down."

"Poor Geoffrey."

"I really worry about him."

"It must be fun working with a giraffe."

"He yells a lot when no kids are around. It's scary."

"Can I cash out now?"

"Did you remember to check in on foursquare?"

"No I don't use that."

"Then no."

"What?"

"You can't cash out until you check in on foursquare."

"I don't have a phone."

"We sell them."

"Really?"

"Yes you can get an Elmo one or else Dora."

"Dora please."

"Your total is $84.81."

"Thanks."

"Have a nice day."


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