So Paula Deen got diabetes

I will first of all join the rest of America in saying "duh." Let us now examine the potential ramifications this announcement will have on the Paula Deen Empire, and also the effects it may have on diabetes awareness, the Butter Council, and cows.

In addition to cheesecake burgers and deep-fried lasagna, Paula Deen will now promote "Victoza," an injectable drug that may help you manage your blood sugar. This is different from Wilford Brimley, who endorses Quaker Oats instead. Did the Quaker Oats people consider Paula Deen as a spokesperson when they heard the news? Do Quakers and southerners get along, or is there bad blood (no pun) between them? If anything I think there would at least be a communication barrier.

Paula Deen: Whut ahr Quaykur Ohts?

Quaker Oats: It's like warm cereal that you eat for breakfast.

Paula Deen: Oh y'awl meen grits?

Quaker Oats: No, not grits. They're...they're oats. Would you like to try a bowl?

Paula Deen: Since it's fooood then ye-yus, ah'll trah sum. Ah'll have mahn with a sticka buhtuh aynd a cuppa brown sugah pleese.

Maybe it would help if they had Wilford on the TV show with her. That guy doesn't take any crap.

Paula Deen: Weel-fur-uhd can y'awl pa-yuss me thuh buhtuh so ah can spuh-rehd it ontew thuh bay-con lawg?

Wilford: Now you stop messing around with that butter or they're gonna take your FOOT.

Paula Deen: Buht...buht Jay-mee and Bah-bee sayud...

Wilford: No more Jamie and Bobby! I sent them out back to bury all the lard.

Paula Deen: Buht ah need that fur mah coffee!


I hope Paula Deen learns her lesson and can get better, but meanwhile please be wary of her recipes, books, magazines, restaurants, drug products, cookware, bobbleheads, and clothing line. They ALL contain butter. Also if you see Wilford Brimley around and decide to ask for an autograph, be polite and do NOT make jokes.