For most of its history, chocolate was primarily a beverage. Chocolate drinks have come in many forms, including the bitter-tasting Aztec concoction "xocolatl," and also Nestle Quik. But nowadays, most people think of chocolate as candy. Hershey is the largest chocolate manufacturer. Their chocolate is very popular in bar form, and also the form of Kisses. The Mars company sells its chocolate in bar form too, but it is not as popular. People would rather eat it as M&Ms, I think because they get to pick a favorite color. They should put a candy shell around the chocolate bar itself. Instant sales boost. If the President of Mars is reading this (the chocolate company, not the planet) please e-mail me. You seem like you could use the help.
There is also fancy chocolate. a box of chocolates is a common gift that men give to ladies to make them fat. The ladies demand this gesture, then claim to be "watching their figure," then eat the chocolates anyway, and then there's self-doubt and shame. Also, the chocolates all have different things inside them, but you don't know what until you bite in. It's headgames all around.
You can also bake chocolate things at home. Chocolate cake, fudge, and BROWNIES. All will make you popular when shared at the office or other jobs that allow outside food. DO NOT try to eat the baking chocolate plain, even if you get desperate. If you are a "chocoholic," call your sponsor. He or she can probably talk you through the craving long enough to at least make it to the raw batter stage. Then you can get your fix by licking the spoon.
Almost everything edible has been dipped in chocolate by somebody, somewhere. There are chocolate-covered pretzels, tasty bonbons, and even crazy things like chocolate-covered PICKLES. Some people even eat ants and crickets that have been covered in chocolate. I'm not sure how most of these wacky inventions came to be, but I imagine it was probably like the peanut butter cup thing. Someone is walking along with a jar of chocolate sauce, getting ready to drink it (chocoholism), and then accidentally bumps into a guy that had been waving a pickle around angrily. "You got your pickle in my chocolate!" "You got your chocolate all over my pickle!" Or else some ants get all into some chocolate syrup that was left spilled on the counter and a man struggling with his diet has what begins as a moment of shame.
Happy Valentine's Day! Guys, don't be cheap!
Chocolate Space Invaders (This is how the President of Mars will attack):
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