America has been very hot lately. You know it's too hot when you can die from getting in the car. It has been like Africa, except more imbecillic. We all need to BEAT this HEAT!
Whenever there is a heat wave, the news will caution you. They say to check on elderly neighbors and relatives to make sure they're okay. WHY? They love it! Old people wear COATS in the heat.
Seriously, have you ever tried taking your mother ANYWHERE that has air conditioning? As soon as you walk in...
"Oh my God, it's FREEZING in here! I'm gonna go back to the car and get a blanket."
"Mom, we're at RED LOBSTER."
Another common caution is to "avoid alcohol." What? I guess that warning is for the occasional British person that likes to drink warm beer in a field. "Hmmm, I don't feel right." But I gotta ask, do British people ever REALLY feel right? They have to know that they are a bit off. They have a queen.
Anyway, try to stay cool, both in the Fonzie way and otherwise. I'm off to a kiddie pool full of ice cubes and Genny Lights.
Enjoy the 4th of July unless you are one of those people that works for a bad place that disrespects America by making you come in anyway. Places like that should be fined. Obama is big on fining people lately so maybe we can make it happen.
Why did they change the font for the word "and?" Suspicious:
Click HERE.
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