Where is Ronald McDonald: a 5-year FLASHBACK blog!

(Originally posted January 16, 2008)

I haven't seen him in any commercials lately.  I guess maybe he is trying to lay low until this whole trans fat thing blows over.  McDonalds has been getting in big trouble ever since scientists found out that cheeseburgers make children fat.

Ronald was quite the cultural icon for awhile there, but then he just disappeared.  The only guy you see now is the King from the Burger King commercials.  It reminds me of the 80s when Michael Jackson got all popular with "Thriller" but then his hair caught on fire and he had to take a sabbatical.  He disappeared from the music scene and was replaced by PRINCE.

It is a pretty good analogy I think.  Ronald is like Michael, a pale weirdo with a high voice that wears make-up and hangs around with exotic animals and children.  Prince, no dang old pun intended, is like the King, a quiet, snappy dresser that loves the ladies and likes to dance.  Michael Jackson, of course, soon resurfaced with a whole new look and "Bad" attitude, so I hope that means the return of Ronald McDonald is not far off.

Like Michael, though, he may be due for a character overhaul.  I have been drawing some sketches of Ronald as a sort of futuristic cowboy and I think it is something that McDonalds could really run with.  If you didn't already know him as a clown, wouldn't you think the name "Ronald McDonald" was kind of cowboyish-sounding?  If not, try saying it with a Texas drawl.

In the commercials, the cowboy Ronald McDonald would ride a white horse named Archie (named after the Golden Arches) and he would herd cows into a magic meat grinder that would produce perfect hamburgers every time.  and since nobody likes a wimpy cowboy, there would be another commercial in which the Hamburglar tries to rob a stagecoach full of Big Macs.  That commercial would end with the Hamburglar getting shot (by Ronald).


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