Clean up that oil spill

It is bad for the environment.

You see oil and water do not mix. It is a miracle of nature, first demonstrated by Jesus.

Oil is transported in trains and boats because planes are not strong enough. The problem is they put too much oil in the tank of the boat at once. So then when it spills it alllllll spills. They should do it more like eggs where the oil is in twelve different cups.

So anyway when the oil spills it doesn't mix in. It floats to the shore and birds get dirty. Beaches have to be closed. a lot of lifeguards get laid off and resort to gambling and alcoholism.

Nerdy little environmentalists are very much opposed to oil spills. But so are rich, heartless oil tycoons. It is one of few subjects on which those two groups agree. There should be an oil spill "summit." That would be fun because everybody would get along and instead of arguing they could just eat Mexican food and try to talk to girls (other things everybody agrees on).

How can we stop oil spills? I think everybody just has to be careful. Personally I have never spilled oil, and I'm not so great so I don't see why other people have so many problems. I spill beer a lot but that is inexpensive and easy to clean up.

If one of the oil tycoons spilled beer at the summit party I would definitely make a comment, though. or at least a "no you di-int" face.