Why is everybody given a middle name?

"Hey you were just born, now we will supplant you with an embarrassing secret that you will have to carry around for LIFE!"

What reasoning is there for this? To differentiate between John A. Smith and John B. Smith? Does not work, man. That's why you get a social security number. Everyone should just use that instead.

"Are you John 124657713 Smith?"

"No in fact I am John 124657712 Smith."

"Oh sorry."

"Easy mistake."

Middle names usually are not good. They are justified as being for the sake of tradition and remembrance. "Uncle Egbert must be remembered, so you need to be middle-named that. Just be glad that a different person was already named after Aunt Fanny."

I guess a main issue might be that babies are usually born to people that are in a relationship, and people in relationships tend to fight a lot and never agree. Even the guys that do bad abandonment stuff still usually stick around long enough for the actual naming of the kid.

Girl: We should name him "Bradley."

Guy: No I want "Hector." My grandfather was named Hector and GUNNED DOWN in the STREET so it is meaningful to me.

Girl: Okay "Bradley Hector" then.

Guy: Good, I will now get that name tattooed on my neck.

Girl: and I'll get it on my YET-untattooed boob.

Guy: Good.

Girl: Good.

***BREAKING*** I am okay with middle names as long as they are used FULL TIME. Like when elegant ladies do that.

Mary Jane: Hello Mary Katherine.

Mary Katherine: Hello Mary Jane, do you know where Clarissa Lorraine will be summering this year?

Mary Jane: She will either vacation at the lake with Amanda Dominique or else visit Eleanor Patrice across the pond.

Mary Katherine: Delightful, Mary Jane. and you have plans with Chastity Noelle?

Mary Jane: No I do not because she said she wanted to bring RUTH along.

Mary Katherine: I HATE RUTH!

Mary Jane: I know, imagine being named just that.

Does not work for guys, though.

Too NASCAR.

Billy Bob: Hey Billy Joe, who you truckin with these days?

Billy Joe: I truck with Bubba Bo and Bo Ray Brent.

Billy Bob: I trucked with Bo Ray Brent that summer I went skunk-huntin with dang old Ray Bubba Lee.

Billy Joe: Ray Bubba Lee? Do y'all mean Jimmy Joe Ray Bubba Bob's first born?

Billy Bob: No, the first born was Wendell.

Billy Joe: Oh that's right. He gave him just one name all classy-like.

Billy Bob: Yeah so he can someday be President or at least employed and not dirty.

Billy Joe: Well Jimmy Joe Ray Bubba Bob always was the brains of the family.

Billy Bob: You can say that again.