Locked out of the house

The latest thing I did was lock myself out of my own house.

You see when I go running, I don't take my keys. I take my house key off the key ring, put it in my sneaker, run, and then when I get home I am theoretically supposed to put it right back on the key ring. Brilliant, no? Except what happens is that I get distracted by some sort of exciting mail or snack and don't put it back on the key ring until "later." So of course yesterday I never put it back on the key ring at all and when I got back from the supermarket this afternoon I could not get into my own house.

F-word.

I still have a lot of cool stuff. Food, booze, the dog, all my other keys, the car, money. I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want! I just cannot go into my own house until my wife gets home from work.

It's a very funny feeling, I don't know how often it happens to people. I am HOME, but I cannot go into the house. Not a lot of things you can do at home without going into the house itself. If it was summertime I could have mowed the lawn. If it snowed today I could have shoveled it. But there was nothing to do. I stood around in the backyard drinking beer and throwing snowballs to the dog. Which was a pretty good time in and of itself!

The beer drinking brings me to my next point which is that when you are at home and locked out of your own house there is nowhere to go to the bathroom! We don't have the sort of yard that has lots of trees and bushes in it. There are just fences and neighbors with windows and telephone wires and birds. and I can't drive anywhere now because of the beer. Hmmmm.

There's no funny ending. I had the dog leash in the car so I walked the dog around for awhile and then my wife came home. and you might be thinking "DON'T YOU LEAVE A SPARE KEY WITH SOMEONE NEARBY!?" and of course I do but I forgot to give it back to him after I locked myself out of the house three weeks ago.

True story.