Drano does not work

Man what ruins a Saturday afternoon quicker than a clogged drain. Everything is right in the world and then out of nowhere a sink or shower or even a washing machine just says "Nuh-uh, no way are YOU gonna have a nice day today." 16 loads of laundry waiting to be done and you see this sink full of water that is just not going anywhere. So frustrating.

"I don't have any clean work clothes! Why did I wear ALL of them in a row?"

"I'm getting married tomorrow and my tuxedo is DIRTY!"

So we keep this bottle of Drano around for just such an emergency. The sticker on the front of the bottle is quite braggadocious.

"MAX GEL!"

"PRO STRENGTH!"

"CLEARS TOTAL BLOCKAGES *GUARANTEED*"

"ENDORSED BY *GOD*"

Then there are instructions on the back...

1) Pour the Drano into the drain

2) Wait 30 minutes

3) Flush with hot water

4) ***REPEAT AS NECESSARY***

WHAT? "Repeat as necessary." Does that mean that when the Drano DOESN'T work I should go out and BUY ANOTHER BOTTLE? What kind of idiot falls for THAT scam? Probably the same people that buy goldfish and lottery tickets.

There is other good stuff on the back.

"HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED"

I'm sure that's true but how does that EVER happen? and who needs to be TOLD that drinking a glass of Drano can kill you? College fraternities trying to come up with new hazing ideas? "What else can we make them drink? How about THIS? Oh wait, better not."

"MAY BURN EYES ON CONTACT"

In the history of man I do not think there has ever been a more inappropriate use of the word "may." At least not in legal print. I know that some people can smoke cigarettes for a lifetime and get away with it, so "cigarettes may cause cancer" is perfectly okay for a warning label. But find me ONE PERSON that can take an eyeful of Drano and just laugh it off. CHANGE THAT WORDING. How about "WILL burn and/or melt eyeballs on contact. Consult a physician."

a very frustrating thing about a clogged drain is that you can't see what's in there. and have no reason to think that anybody would PUT something down there that doesn't belong. It's not like the toilet where once in awhile someone uses poor judgment.

"Okay next time a hamster dies I will just bury it."

"That was probably not the best way to throw out an old TV Guide."