Just when you thought the Earth could not get more ridiculous, along came 2011. The year of Twitter. The year KFC added bacon to its Famous Bowl. The year of Adele.
The main guy in 2011 was Charlie Sheen. He began the year as the most popular person on television, but got fired for bad crimes like DRUG ABUSE and sending hurtful Tweets. This only intensified America's love for him (the jobless rate has been sky high so I guess there was a lot of sympathy) and his infamous "Winning" quote has become the #1 catchphrase. Losers everywhere love to say "Winning." It is a delicious blend of sarcasm and irony.
Meanwhile, on the "Losing" front, the big trend in 2011 was to "occupy." Big business and the government finally went too far, and honest, downtrodden citizens could TAKE NO MORE. The result was REBELLION.
Peaceful resistance was all over the news. and the government's response? "We get it! You're mad!" So nothing changed, and most of the occupants have gone home by now. Sometimes it's just nice to be listened to. Like when people audition for "American Idol" even though they know they have no chance. William Hung had his 15 minutes, and now so have the 99%.
Amongst the dead in 2011? Moammar Gadhafi, OSAMA BIN LADEN, and Amy Winehouse. So it washed out to be a pretty good year for that.
and of course, who can forget the ROYAL WEDDING? Besides all men, that is. That's okay, though. Ladies deserve something to look forward to now and then. Men get a Superbowl and income tax refund EVERY year. Things like Royal Weddings and Michael Buble only happen once in awhile.
What kind of year did Whitney Houston have? Well, you haven't heard that name in awhile, have you? So pretty good! Can't say the same for YOU, Hank Williams Jr.
and once again, it was a really bad year for newborn baby names. At least for boys.
"Aiden."
"Jayden."
"Caden."
"Brayden."
Girl names have stayed basically okay, just heavy on the vowels.
There was not much political news in 2011. Relatively, I mean. Clinton and Bush and other past maniacs have set the bar pretty high at this point. Plus we're going INTO an election year so people have been laying pretty low. Don't want to show your hand too soon.
In 2012, however, the lunatics will be all-in. and in the TWITTER age, mind you. Things are gonna get real insane real fast. Never had this kind of technology during a campaign before. Imagine if we did.
Lloyd Bentsen @Bentsen4VP
@QuayleMale88 u r no jack kennedy
***fUtUrE fLaSh***
The winner of the 2052 Presidential Election will be named Aiden Brayden Clinton. "ABC" for short.
Goodbye 2011! We will not forget you.
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